Relaxation

Do you ever feel like you’re not doing even a fraction of what you could be doing with your life? I’m guessing we’ve all felt like that since the start of the pandemic. But did you feel like that before—like you have gifts to share and passions to explore, but you just don’t know how,

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.” ~Unknown You two are family. Maybe you grew up with them and were by their side for a huge chunk of their life. There was a lot of laughing, crying, and sharing. Some fighting too. You know how their

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” ~C.S. Lewis I was talking to a mentor of mine several months ago, and they cut me off midsentence and said, “Zach, it sounds like you’re trying to be extraordinary. How about you just work at being ordinary?” I paused then promptly broke into tears. Yep.

“Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.” ~Lori Deschene Ever feel like you are living a life of chaos? Are you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated over these crazy past two years? When difficult things

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am.” ~Caitlin Japa “You’re making people uncomfortable,” my mother would say. “Stop being so sensitive,” she would then quip. I have always been sensitive for as long

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” ~William Arthur Ward I live in the windiest city in the world—Wellington, New Zealand. Perched between the North and South Island, this colorful little city gets hammered by wind. The winds from the south bring cold, and the winds

“Lean into the discomfort of the work.” ~ Brené Brown Anxiety was the core of my existence for decades. When I look back at my life over that time, what comes to mind first is the constant tension in my chest, a knotted stomach, and a lump in my throat. From the outside, my life

“Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.” ~Iyanla Vanzant Looking back at my life I see that all of my romantic relationships up until now suffered because I didn’t recognize or value my sensitivity. For much of my life I thought there was something wrong with me. I was too

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.” ~Oprah Winfrey When I was a little girl, I made many wishes. At first, I believed all of my wishes would come true, just like in the fairy tales my mother read to me before bed. However, slowly but surely, life changed

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King Grief creeps up on you when you least expect it. It reminds you of the person you have lost when you’re out for coffee with friends, watching people hug their loved ones goodbye at the airport,

“The choice that frees or imprisons us is the choice of love or fear. Love liberates. Fear imprisons.” ~Gary Zukav I come from a family of runners. When I was a young girl, my father would rouse us out of bed on the weekends to run the three-mile par-course at the local park, competing with

“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.” ~Maryam Hasnaa I was sobbing quite hysterically, huddled into myself sitting on the kitchen floor. It literally felt like my life was falling apart. And so was I.

I remember the first time it dawned on me that I was in an unhealthy relationship. Not just one that was difficult and annoying but one that could actually be described as “toxic.” It was at a training event for a sexual abuse charity I worked for. I immediately felt like a fraud! How could

“Put yourself at the top of your to-do list every single day and the rest will fall into place.” ~Unknown We live in a busy world. There is always something, or someone, fighting for our attention. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. It’s easy to lose the time we need for ourselves. The white space in

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt It’s natural to think that we’re always in the spotlight. We think that people care about the way we dress, but they don’t. We think that people notice our nervous habits, when in reality, they’re

“If we can see past perceived limitations, then the possibilities are endless.” ~Amy Purdy Nature inspires me. There are hidden messages consistently on display. On my daily walks, I find myself interpreting these messages in relation to my life. One day, near the end of my walk, I was paying attention to the trees. A

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~Frederick Douglass In an eighteen-month window, I had a landslide of firsts that I would not wish on my worst enemy. I ended my first long-term relationship with someone I deeply cared for but did not love. She had borderline personality disorder, and I was not

“I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~Nelson Mandela A few years ago, I attended what most people with social anxiety would call a nightmare event—a wedding. Although I was

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” ~Steve Jobs I was a sensitive child growing up, and I felt everything deeply. Unfortunately, my childhood home was dominated by chronic tension, fear, and anger—not an ideal environment for anyone, let alone a perceptive and

“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle When I first started practicing Zen (or presence), I used to believe I could become completely thoughtless. Making my bed, no-thought. Washing my hands, no-thought. Walking around, no-thought. Imagine the spiritual experience! But it wasn’t like what I thought it would

“I would argue that nothing gives life more purpose than the realization that every moment of consciousness is a precious and fragile gift.” ~Steven Pinker He was splayed out in the middle of the road. The paramedics had yet to arrive. That was the scene on our way to meet some friends. Over dinner, they

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield It seemed like the natural thing to do. A middle-aged man had dropped his keys near me. I jumped up, hopped over, picked the keys up, and gave them back to him. Not so unusual, except I had a badly twisted ankle after

“Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly.” ~Unknown Change is constant, from small changes like trying a new hobby to big changes like making a drastic career move. Even though change is all around us, it can feel scary. While change could lead you to something great, there are

“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.” ~Ashleigh Warner Do you ever wonder what creates anxiety and why so many people are anxious? Anxiety doesn’t just

“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you’ll miss out on a big opportunity? I’ve learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I’ve taken

“We forget what we want to remember and remember what we want to forget.” ~The Road “Okay grandma, we’re going to run away!” I wheeled my grandma Jeanne in her wheelchair into the sunlight, through the courtyard, after we exited her nursing home. She knew though that she couldn’t leave, but she went along with

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can choose not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there. You’re sitting quietly with your pain asking yourself if the abuse really happened or if you just fabricated it in your mind like

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~C.G. Jung  Everyone says it. They say chemistry is a must. I know I say it. But why do we say this?  What exactly is chemistry, and is it really the best indicator of a

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes As someone who people often come to seeking help or advice, I recently encountered a new situation for me: one in which I chose to stop helping someone and walk away entirely because I determined it wasn’t good—for

As she stood there watching the puppet show, our eyes locked. I was instantly attracted. After what felt like the longest fifteen minutes torn between the desire to talk to her and the fear of rejection, I mustered the courage to introduce myself. She gave me a smile, then without saying a word, walked away.